nothing determined but everything is aligned
Dear Reader(s),
Today was a weird day...in the morning I had a meeting, which let me down a little bit...
because the meeting was early in the morning and I was not able to do my meditation earlier...
the meeting bugged me and I couldn't focus in my meditation at all... and because of that
it took two hours to focus and meditate..because it took longer to meditate my legs cramped
and the leg I had problem with is now aching...
yes I have one knee very problematic....i got it injured in a terrible manner as I was recklessly descending from the scree after a mountain climb... my backpack was so heavy with 2 weeks of camping and climbing equipment..
and my knee turned slightly the other way around which it shouldn't supposed to turn...
it was because of heavy weight behind my back and uneven/steep/unstable surface I was fastly running
caused it...It was definitely not the decision to run down from this hill..So reader this event happened at least 20 years ago...that day I was able to descend down with some pain but actually my knee got so hurt that when the muscles supporting my knee got weaker, it started to become an issue
when I sit for long hours my knee bent is not a good idea because afterwards it hurts terribly...
so reader..the meditation was uneasy because I was not able to focus
the main reason is me!
because of anticipation, because of anxiety, because of ego...so it was a good clear lesson for me
that I need to focus more working on my shortcomings..
when you focus on them, you make them bigger
and because you make them bigger
they rule your day....and because they rule your day
you loose your grip and everything becomes a problem and source of frustration, source of anger
reader, if you can diminish your anticipations than it is easier to see the good in things
if your anticipation is high than it brings you many disappointments
live the day as it comes, don't put meanings, ideas, expectations on the things you experience
actually this is not an easy thing to do...but if you can do it...
than you got the cat alive (Schrodinger's) if you catch my drift....
blink, blank! nothing determined
but everything is aligned, don't mind
shrink think, select everything, accept all blind
kink link, don't anticipate just bring heart's bind
King H. Ironson
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