my disease have no cure
Hello Reader,
Today was a sleepy day for me, lately I wake up in the middle of the night again...Night creeps came back again...it goes like this...I sleep and then all of a sudden I wake up around 2 am or 3 am and then I cannot go back to sleep for hours and once I fell a sleep then my alarm clock starts to tell me its time to wake up...imagine waking up like a zombie and all the day pass in a very tired way...at the moment I have a great headache, probably due to this cycles of ongoing sleepless nights...I guess looking to the screen all day is not helping at all with these glasses... my glasses also give me headache when I use them in extended periods..reader I just remembered last night I woke up at 2.30 am and tried to sleep again, I supposed to do my meditation before I sleep but I slept on the couch and woke up at 2.30...then I said to my self its too late to do meditation...but I couldn't sleep until 3.30 and wake up and go to living room to make my meditation...and I guess made my meditation until 4.30 then went back to bed to sleep..although I am not sure, maybe I have did the meditation in my dream..but I am sure that I had the self conflict of whether doing meditation at that time or not...maybe I slept with those uneasy thoughts and probably at one time in my dream I reached a conclusion of doing a meditation and dreamt peacefully afterwards...but because I was meditating in my dream my mind made my body thought it lacked sleep and this is why I woke up as tired and sleepy...both options are possible for me because my life is like this half awake half dream for a while...a long while...I guess I have been gaslighted from reality at some stage about 6 years ago...and probably from that time onwards I am half awake and half in a dream at an interface... when you consider what reality is I believe the way I perceive reality is more real than life itself reader....
I love life but I do have this disease,
its incurable,
it makes you love that disease....
doctors say that my disease have no cure and it kills you eventually...
once you have this disease you are done with...
all diseases are curable but not this one...
doctors save you from other disease's just to make sure that you die from this disease
I love my incurable disease...
its hazy as a fast dream never dull yet awake for some instances
always on the edge constant struggle
I have this disease its incurable
suffering hand in hand with happiness bliss balance....
doctor's say once you have this disease you are done...
its the only disease they can't cure..
they call this disease
life..
King H. Ironson
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