brave the box feel
Hello Reader,
Its freezing slowly over here...although I have to admit its not as cold as Quebec here where I am at...over there -17/-20 C is seasonal normal.. today I have not done much...I wake up late...Last night again I have slept through my meditation...it was more of a passed on to sleep...I slept until 9 am which is very unlikely of me...I don't know if I have seen dreams...lately I have been seeing dreams...I am not sure what I have seen last night though...the other night I saw my grand mother whom passed away 16 years ago...she was very fine lady,...she raised three boys...she couldn't take the loss of his son and husband one year after one another...his son being my dad....oldest of all three sons..we spoke with her in my dream but I am not sure what it was we spoke with her....but I felt like she was all in distress and was not happy in the environment she was in...she was a very good cook and she had this obsession with cleanliness and orderliness..we used to call her the "Queen" because she was a very clever women whom raised all three boys with the etiquette of their time... and she used to follow all the new developments and advancements of the time and if she has hard time understanding these she used ask and try to learn these from us with passion...she was probably a high IQ individual.... I have seen her in my dream as we all together went to a vacation where we are staying in facility kind of holiday village all together but I sensed that she was not happy but when I asked she said that she is ok...but I knew that even she has some issues she never told us and act as everything is alright...because I know this, I sneaked to her room to find out that the room is not as cleaned and tidy according to her standards, normally the best hotel room would not be suited to her standards but this thing that I see was not even acceptable to anyone's standards..when I recognized whats going on I felt so sad and angry...I wake up so uneasy and frustrated as I was trying to resolve this issue with the management of the resort in my dream...right now all the friends of my son is at us they are giving out a birthday party/sleep over playing console, board games in the basement...so I am out of my place and writing these stuff in the living room... today as I told you I have not done much....the only considerable things that I did was to refill the bird feeder and doing my meditation, petting my dog ....feeling sad but a very rooted sadness....like a big piece of me is missing for no reason at all....it feels like what ever I do and make will not fill that void...don't know why I feel this way...lately something is off...maybe this is the winter blues...maybe just the blues..
dog sailing on a couch; free roaming wheel border match
bog dunk failing my heart on a dime, I'm yelling save the fox, real merger fetch
sog ploughing by shy shard, brave the box feel, let hunger catch
long bow raging, why your part gave the ox-eel right burger batch
time of cold monsters made of ice, rough dumb dictate prohibition itch
boring melted thoughts of lice, proven beef tie; palpitate lone heart's bitch
King H. Ironson
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