New Sneakers

 Hello Dearest Reader,

Do you own your farts?

If you own your farts you are a true Rebel!

and you have a over flowing confidence....

for a while I was working in this shiny 

high rise

it was a strange place I am not going to get too much into 

details...

the details like what I did there or where it is....

but I will give you some very detailed details... ;)

there to go to my office like everyone I needed to

take the elevator....

Like in all the high rise's people work in the offices,

there they take extreme care about their appearances

don't know why ?

I guess Its like this everywhere in the world.....

unwritten rule, if you are working in a high rise building you need to take care of your appearances

because the building is shiny and modern and a high-rise

it prompts people to be a shiny and modern looking as well

unfortunately just like the most of the people work in those kind of buildings

when you look deep in you will find a cold ugly concrete that does not offer many things

even the cave of the first man have the curves and  soul in it, each of the cave was different unique in their own way....

not these shiny high rises they are all look alike a block of cheese

when you look deep in to the people who work in high rise you cannot see much...

but I can tell they have similar insecurities and flaws..

a soul crushed...and let to rot...

yes couple of years in my life I worked in such place

it was a good time for observations and gaining experiences

for instance there was this man...

 who used to come to our floor's bathroom for his poo operations.

because the departments were separated in the floors, probably he doesn't want to 

reveal his stinky poop identity to his co-workers...

weird...

all the people in our floor were aware of this man...

because of the smell....

he just appear from the stairs and quickly make his way to bathroom

"poop master"

another weird thing was the elevator rides

oh that couple of minutes under weird elevator music...

in regards to people around I was the fashion disaster

with the sneakers and ironless khakis, un-matching  shirt color and a jacket

"jacket" is telling, ok look I am trying my best here but don't push it any further....

I was making my statement among the suit man and woman with their designer suits and fancy shoes..

the topic of the lunch everyday was "this shoe", "that suit" they bought last weekend or somebodies shoe or the suit was the topic of gossip..

a handful of blah blah worth of barf for me.... 

so because of my wild look everybody know me even if they didn't know my name

one time  I got this new cool sneakers though the shoes had one unfortunate issue...

you know in this plaza because the all the floor was covered with marble (even the elevator) 

the shoes made weird "squeak" sounds with the resemblance of a "fart" sound

ha ha ha

I was basically farting as I walk to point "A" to "B" in the halls, in the entrance hall, elevator, bathroom....anywhere covered with marble I was farting as I walk....

thanks god the office space had the carpet floor....

anyways one day with my farting shoes and perfect outfit

I was trying to get to my office after a coffee break 

from the coffee shop in the ground floor

the hall was empty, as I pressed elevator button to go up...

all of a sudden a group of very beautiful women

with their designer suits and shoes appeared from nowhere...

the gals from the marketing department of the other company which was also in the building...

they came next to me to wait for the elevator

we came eye to eye I said hello with a nod and a hand gesture

the girls smiled back  

than start talking to one another giggling its clear 

I can tell that my great outfit was showing up itself in a big way..

I thought to myself just wait till you hear my farting shoes...

The elevator arrived, the door opened, some people walked out...

I let the gals in first, they placed themselves on the left corner...

Then I carefully walked in trying my best to not to fart the shoes...

I took a very weird step inside the elevator to avoid fart...

it worked...the doors closed

I smiled to the gals, and asked their floor,

the fake blonde with blue eyes and who wear a revealing shirt of the big juicy breasts...

She leaned to the front  to highlight the revealing breast and pointing the floor...

with her delicate hand that have thin fingers and nails were painted to red...

I scanned her from top to bottom for her sexy giggle

she was a hottie,

I got excited and forget about my farting shoes, 

to press the button I made a quick turn clockwise in the place I stand

and in the process I made a weird turn with the shoes

at that moment I realize the shoes are going to fart big time, a drop of sweat 

started to race down from my forehead... 

but it was too late

the shoes farted as I turn and press the button

life flew in slow motion as the 

elevator buttons lit and a big sound 

took the stage, it was a bold sound 

which suppressed the elevator music...

and echoed between the small walls of the mall elevator..

a blunt long single tone baritone handful of fart...

like it came after a big bowl of chili beans at the comfort of your house

probably the fart that you would do and be very proud of when you are alone

the sound....was not hid able but very hideous

it came front and back

like it was thunder

smiling faces of hot women turned into a disgust

with the echoing fart...

everything come to a stand still

as the girls quickly raised their hands up to their noses

to protect themselves from the potential smell...

everything came to a standstill even the drop of sweat hanged in the air 

with the intensity of the moment

than...

elevator kicked in....

even I thought the terrible sound is going to be followed by a terrible smell...

the poor gals collected to the under end of the elevator like oil droplets dropped on the water with unpleasant faces 

I had to do something, I said "sorry!"

as the elevator moved up

than I mumbled "...you know I got this new sneakers....they do this weird sounds...as I walk on these marble floors..."

I added a cagy smile 

then I continued my efforts to lighten up the mood and make my case and attempted to do a stupid joke

it came out just like the fart sound

"inappropriate"

"So the sneakers look good and I like them aside from their noise, but you can always throw the blame at them, so its handy in situations like these..."

What the fuck!!! "like admission of the guilt?"

the girls couldn't believe their ears and were looking to me terrified with disgust

and at that moment we came to my floor

elevator stopped and the doors were opened

to a terrible shit smell  

there were some handyman walking in and out to the man's bathroom door which is very close and next to elevators...

it was the poop master's doing 

what a timing....

finally he clogged our floors toilet 

The girls rushed away to the stairs holding themselves hard not to barf 

looking to me in disgust...

(Photograph: kaboompics - Pixaabay)