oh no!... not those nuts....they belong to me...!
Dear Reader,
Howdy,
yesterday I worked....and when it was time to write
I skipped....
this morning I had the interview...
if you ask me I did good but not sure on their end..
we will see
today after the interview I was able to do the meditation
but my heart and mind was bursting with energy explosions and thoughts and excitement
like my mood all the birds around the gazebo were like that as well
especially couple of sparrows were pogo dancing on the top of the gazebo
since the gazebo here is basically a frame and a fabric over it, there was a serious
chirping and squashing, squeaking sounds
high energy...
did the meditation but it took a while to concentrate on reducing my inner voices
the leaves here turned completely
another reason to go out often...
so beautiful
the love tree (silver maple) in front of my house have two squirrel holes
last year both of them were vacant
this year I saw one of the holes is occupied by a squirrel family...
I increased the nut content of the food I am giving to them...
if I had an ongoing salary probably I would spoil them with all the beautiful nuts
but now since I am broke they eat whatever nut I can eat..
I share my nuts with them...
oh no!... not those nuts....they belong to me...!
now reader
I am listening very good tunes as I am writing this lousy shit to you
for instance now "Dear Prudence" is playing from Siouxsie and the Banshees
(its been a while I am not listening to the music as much
especially after I became unemployed and have to cancel my spotify premium,
its been so frustrating when you cannot listen to that song you want to listen at certain times)
reader sometimes words just flow
just like how sometime the life flows
you just leave your self to its flow
like a yellow leaf on the side of the road floating by the gushing water
to be poured down the drain...
yes we will also be drained to death
one day....
though I made my peace with it already..
because I already died multiple times earlier...
what comes from the earth
has to return to the earth
that's the way...
although reader as I say to you that I made my peace with death
its not like I am mentioning to you that I am looking forward to it...
I love the life and the lessons it brings...
you make peace with it by
resolving the fear that the death brings to you, with the thought that its the end of everything
when you comprehend
only your body is going to die and there is something immortal filling this mortal container
the way you look to the things change...
no reader, I am affirmative that I am not crazy!
even though many people wanted me to make me feel that I am crazy!
actually I was going to talk about one of the biggest tribulation I have lived in my life
a decade ago and I wanted to mention its resonances up to this date
and how it made me what I am today....
yes I can tell you 5 years ago me
and me today are very very different...
but different in a good way....
I like my cracks, and broken pieces...
it gave me lots of character...
and more freedom as well
the real freedom....
Then brain stomped, on tune shot loud
A mystery disappeared, herds of melody blout
Man tax many rough few fair
Matching lame, catching bare no fair in tare
A widow thrashed, Joe man ached, Richy cashed
bumped, thumped left you scammed
many of us stripped left barely alive
desperation is the new name of our nation
King H. Ironson
Posing dope found fewery end
Rough there crayon pit crypt
All the passers crept some tripped
No final thrills and turmoils in this blight
Hearts set on blaze, mystify breeze, like the tities of the winters freeze
Blues and reds intertwined and vibrated a purple haze
Words said death is an old fart with nothing to give
neither this life or to the next life, the end it offers is fake
King H. Ironson
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