pixel's of thoughts
Dear Reader,
I am not sure if I wrote yesterday...
Lately, the days follow after one another like a huge blob...
The only time I have with myself are the long drives
especially, the morning drives...
that is the time to self reflect and be on my own...
I have been fallen into many different thoughts..
thoughts that would knock me out of balance before...
now these came to my mind and cook for a while and get discarded
right away, with the light of inner sun,
I am at a point that I feel all the things around me does not fit in with what I am
and all the things come in front of me are showing me this..
its weird...before I felt that I was not capable of fitting in
its the same shit with a different take in the light of new developments
light within...ha ha ha ...
its the same shit with different sauce...
life is different though....
in comparison to before...
my meditations are stagnant and I feel like its been veiled by a dark cover
feeling like I have been pushing hard inside the soil to move out to reach the sun to sprout...
my stuffed sinuses are not helping it any better
probably the pollens here or the air quality is not good for me
I am having stuffed nose, headache and heavy head
this is not helping with the meditations...
especially, since I have been doing my meditation at night
I am usually completely exhausted at the time I do my meditation...
its been hard to focus...and half sleep half meditative state
my mind wanders out alot
it dreams of realities that feels like blue cotton candy you eat in happy days when you are in the carnival having fun,.,,
when I start dreaming in my meditation...sometimes I find my self get lost in these realities of other realms...going to concerts, spending time with people that do exist only in my imagination
so reader, its not been easy lately
even the scammers started to send messages like "how are you?"
I guess they are also worried for the well being of their target (mee) :)
reader I need to wrap up...and start my meditation
because I need to sleep soon
tomorrow I have the drive...
organize pixel's of thoughts in to a majestic arrangement of flowers
complimentary to the unending fuzzy dreams and astral fantasies
loose the sill between the dream world and the awake world reality always scams
every night hug self to remind mind there is at least one person that loves
King H. Ironson
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